As Day Fifty ends, Jenny officially finishes her first day of rehabilitation. There is no set schedule for each of her three main rehab activities due to the nature of the rehab center. There is always a constant flow of ingoing and outgoing patients, each with their own agenda and off-site appointments they cannot miss. Many patients need to book special wheelchair transportation so all rehab activity schedules are decided the morning of every single day to accommodate for all schedules. This means I have no idea when any of Jenny’s appointments happen until that very morning.

The day started with Speech & Language Pathology. These are usually done one on one so I am thankful I have permission to sit in as an observer. Hearing Jenny talk to the S.L.P. therapist and try to answer even basic questions is extremely heart-wrenching because it showed me the current state of her mind that I would not have been aware of otherwise.

S.L.P. therapy began with basic questions. One of the very first questions was “Where do you think you are you right now?” and Jenny responded that she believes she is in Taiwan. She had previously worked there over 13 years ago, so the fact that she still thinks she’s in Taiwan and not Canada is noteworthy. One of the next activities was identifying common items. Jenny was able to identify a horse, but she was not able to identify a fan. She was able to identify a basketball, but not the number 8. Her accuracy for matching words to pictures was under 30%. There were then some basic writing exercises where she was showed pictures and had to write what she thought was shown to her. Jenny is originally right-handed, but since her entire right arm is still severely damaged she had to attempt to write the answers with her non-dominant left hand.

After the fourth word, Jenny’s mind became tired and she began scribbling answers quickly in order to get the activity over with. This set the base line for her S.L.P. journey.

Occupational Therapy was the next stop. For all of these first time activities, I felt like they were setting a base line for where Jenny would be starting at. The O.T. therapist spent the entire time checking to see Jenny’s range of motion of her legs, arms, hands, joints and neck and that’s it for today as it had begun causing Jenny a lot of pain.

Lastly, Physiotherapy focused on seeing how far she could control her limbs, specifically her right arm. The P.T. asked Jenny to squeeze her right hand and Jenny could not. She could barely move her fingers. She also did the hammer check reaction check on her left and right knee. The left leg responded normally, but the right one did not respond.

For the rest of the evening, Jenny was not happy. She does not understand why she is in rehab, and continues to request to go home. She remains restless for the rest of the evening until her sleeping pill kicks in and allows her to sleep. I am then able to leave for the night to get some rest myself.

As Day Fifty-One ends, the day begins with Speech and Language Pathology again. The activity today is “point to the blank” where Jenny is given a word and she is given a selection of 4 pictures and has to choose the correct one. The first word is “Pencil” and there are pictures of a dog, a building, a cup and a pencil. Jenny points to the cup and says that’s the pencil. Jenny is then given a list of words, with some words being animals. She is told to point out which words are animals. She cannot point out a single one. However, she does understand that snow is white and that there are 7 days in a week.

For Occupational Therapy today, Jenny goes for a walk. She is only allowed to walk with a two-person assist, meaning two people have to walk alongside her as she begins to re-learn the balance of walking properly. Her right leg is a bit slower which causes her to lose balance and stumble often.

Physiotherapy told me that the shoes I brought Jenny are the wrong size. I must bring another pair tomorrow. Apparently Jenny is not a size 7 shoe, but a size 8. She appears to buy both sizes however, and I’m not quite sure why. For her physiotherapy activity today, Jenny is tested on a horizontal standing bike. She makes it to 1 minute and 30 seconds before saying she is tired.

Lastly, I feel like I am being pushed to my mental and physical limits today because Jenny is raising her voice and complaining to me because she wants to go to the washroom on her own but all the therapists state that she requires two person assistance for anything right now. She believes she can do it on her own and wants me to break protocol for her when we’re alone and becomes angry at me when I say I cannot break the rules set out for her and when I am forced to call for assistance she feels betrayed and this unfound stress point will continue throughout the coming week.

It has been 31 days since I was last able to write an update about Jenny. The reason for the delay of these updates is described in my previous post. To catch up, I will be writing about two to three days worth of updates at a time in future hope of being able to write about Day One Hundred on Day One Hundred itself. There are so many of you watching and following Jenny’s recovery and I cannot wait for Jenny to one day truly understand the scope of just how many people around the world are supporting her.

She continues to push forward everyday.

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As Day Forty-Eight & Nine ends, so does Jenny’s first weekend at Riverview Health Center. The three specialized focus areas for Jenny’s rehabilitation involve Physiotherapy, which focuses on restoring movement, mobility and function followed by Occupational Therapy which focuses on developing, recovering, improving and maintaining skills needed for daily living or work and lastly Speech & Language Pathology which monitors, evaluates and assists in improving speech, communication and eating habits which are often heavily impacted following any brain injuries or accidents.

By fortune, with Jenny arriving on the night of Thursday, November 16th and Friday, November 17th being a simple meet and greet with the team members and staff, Jenny essentially had a long weekend to relax and get adjusted to her new home.

As she was being transferred in the ambulance, I was trailing behind her in my own vehicle. Jenny must have thought she was being brought home because one of her repeated questions over this weekend was

“Is this home?”

to which I would respond

“You are at Riverview for rehab.”

and she would ask

“Why?”

and I would respond

“You were in a very bad accident.”

which would shock her and she would say

“Oh my goodness I was in an accident?”

and this exact conversation occurred many more times through the weekend.

When I had a chance to meet the team members and staff who were going to be working with Jenny my reception of them was extremely positive. They were all very professional, very friendly and you could tell by their demeanors they all understood the trials and tribulations of working with people who have suffered traumatic brain injuries. I had a sense I could learn a lot from them, even as just an advocate from the sidelines. They told me to start gathering some of Jenny’s gym clothes including sweat pants and runners.

It is a quiet, solemn feeling when you begin going through your loved ones belongings searching for this and that. As I try to gather articles of clothing I thought were suitable for Jenny’s rehabilitation activities I found myself talking to myself and asking “Would Jenny like to wear this? Or this?” and it hit me that I could not ask Jenny herself because she is not here and even if she were, she was not in a state where she could respond to those types of questions.

When I arrived the following Sunday morning, I walked slowly and quietly into Jenny’s room. She was already awake, left eye opened, staring at the ceiling in silence but when she saw me and she nearly propped herself up and yelled

“I’m so happy to see you! I was waiting for you!”

Which set the tone for the rest of that Sunday. We began organizing her closet with all the clothes I brought and once we were done we leisurely watched television and explored every nook and cranny of the room.

As the day ended, Jenny is still extremely hesitant in accepting this place as her new home. We spent the rest of the day discussing random parts of her memory while enjoying the beautiful view of the city from her room.

Hello again, this is Steven. It has been quite some time since I was last able to write an update for you all.

The last time that I was able to write an update on Jenny, I was already amidst an unprecedented level of despair and grief I had never experienced. As I witnessed Jenny feebly struggle during her first days of rehabilitation, the strength and composure I had built within myself over the past thirty years was put through one of the toughest tests. I promptly learned that I was not as strong as I thought. In fact, I can no longer consider myself ever being strong at all. I foolishly thought that I could continue handling everything following the aftermath of the accident while also documenting Jenny’s progress, advocating for Jenny through recovery and simultaneously handling my life responsibilities on my own. In the end, I could not maintain it. I was eventually overwhelmed as I was not strong enough. I felt like I failed myself but more importantly, I failed Jenny.

Today marks one month of Jenny’s first day undergoing the rehabilitation program at Riverview Health Center. Throughout the first week of Jenny’s rehabilitation, I stood as the sole witness to what Jenny had truly lost from the accident as I was the last person to see her before she left. I could see the incredible distance she would have to push and endure to reobtain what she lost but the goal to become who she once was no longer exists because it is no longer attainable. There are impacts from the accident that Jenny cannot recover from. It is now the focus to get back as much as she can instead. That is what life has left Jenny to bargain with and the price to pay is so unbelievably high that it’s disgustingly unfair and yet, Jenny has no choice but to pay it anyway.

As a simple witness standing on the sidelines of Jenny’s first few weeks in rehabilitation, I could not handle what I observed. The amount of pain, the amount of screams and the amount of tears I saw from her tore me apart. The tears shared between only us behind closed doors were the most unbearable.

As time passed in these early days of rehabilitation, Jenny’s spirit and motivation would waver. I tried my best to stay as strong as I could to help guide her. During this critical time, I had continued receiving bad news upon terrible news in other aspects of my life. Quickly, it came to the inevitable outcome where I had depleted every ounce of energy I had left and could not find a chance to recover. I felt that I had no more strength to push forward and I had no one to lean on for help. My body, mind and spirit reached its limit and I shut down. I stopped caring about my health. I no longer ate properly. I no longer slept properly. I no longer performed any basic, daily tasks. I no longer cared about my mental state. I simply stopped caring about myself entirely. All I could do at this point was force myself to continue being beside Jenny. Even as an empty husk and having nothing left, I tried to stay focused on encouraging and supporting her.

One piece of news that I received during this time was that her brother’s Emergency Visa application was rejected. When I got this news, I knew it meant that I would not be receiving any reprieve moving forward. As you may recall from earlier posts, Jenny has no family in Canada and receiving this news during this time of Jenny’s rehabilitation was devastating.

Through my upbringing, the concept of asking for help was so ingrained in me to be absolutely unacceptable that against all logic I still feel I should knowingly and foolishly accept defeat and crumble away before ever seeking help. When push finally comes to shove and when it really comes down to having to ask for help or perish, I’ve learned where my character truly lies. I am indeed a tragic fool as I knowingly let myself become broken instead of asking for help. Though Jenny has friends in Winnipeg and I have family, I just could not ask for help. I had finally reached my limit and I could no longer continue with what I was so desperately trying to maintain.

With a broken spirit, a heavy heart and painful remorse I admitted defeat and let myself crumble away. Along with other aspects of my life there was no more progress. I no longer had the strength to move forward and I did not have the strength to continue writing updates about Jenny.

And so, days passed.

Then a week passed.

Then another week passed.

Then another two weeks passed.

And now, on this very day, December 20, 2023, a month has passed.

From my fallen place of despair, failure and defeat, with all my strength gone and nothing left to carry on, I still forced my body to be beside Jenny every day. I continued keeping track of each bit of progress with her steps moving forward and her steps moving backward because I know that with this knowledge, Jenny can one day look back and see her journey.

From her, I am beginning to learn what true strength really is as I continue to watch Jenny push forward through her pain, her screams and her tears. No matter what is thrown at any of us, the one thing we can learn from Jenny is what true strength really is. 

Life will always continue to move on and it does not stop for anyone no matter how painful or how unfair. We must simply keep pushing forward no matter the circumstance and catch up to it even if we are set back. 

The fact that you are reading this right now means you share this corner of the world with Jenny and I. You are a part of her journey and you are a witness to Jenny’s strength. She still does not understand the scope of how many people around the world are watching, following and supporting her but she continues to push forward every day regardless of that information because that is just who she is. I have been keeping track of her journey every day, both the good and the bad. As I take my time to begin writing it all, I hope you can begin understanding what true strength is through Jenny and hopefully stay afloat during any uncertain and worrying times in your lives. 

Thank you for being so patient with me, thank you for your continued support and thank you for choosing to follow Jenny in her long journey to recovery.

Lastly, I would like to dedicate this update to my uncle from England who I just learned a few minutes ago lost his battle with cancer and has passed on. He was a man who went above and beyond taking care of me when I could visit England and raised his own family to all do the same. Though he never had a chance to meet Jenny, he knew of her story and supported her. Your incredible strength will carry on – Rest in peace, Dai Bak.

This first week of rehab has been very difficult for Jenny and I. I am definitely feeling the burnout and I am struggling quite badly. I have begun to stop caring about myself. I no longer eat properly. I no longer rest enough. My mental state is in tatters and it’s effecting my daily interactions and honestly the feeling of “giving up” is at it’s peak. I lack energy, sleep, sustenance and am using all of my remaining strength to stay motivated to be there for Jenny everyday while trying to simultaneously keep the other obligations of life in order. I am still here keeping track of Jenny’s progress everyday so I have the information I need but her mind happens to be going through the aggressive and agitated phase of recovery so it’s been draining as she unintentionally does or says things that are painful or she makes requests that are impossible to uphold but I have to do my best. Along with the ever accumulating list of demands, expectations, participation and due diligence that is being thrown at me from all aspects of my life the everyday pile of things I need do keeps increasing and I simply cannot catch up. I feel like I am being stretched in so many directions and have so many different responsibilities that I wish the day had 36 hours instead of 24 hours so I could begin to start having enough time to catch up on what I feel I need to do. But through it all I am still consciously thankful each moment that Jenny is able to be where she is right now after going through what she’s gone through.

I’ve tried to compromise with these updates by writing for two days at a time because I am no longer capable in writing daily anymore but I’ve already failed at even that compromise after just one day because the last update was about her transfer on the night of Thursday the 16th and the first day at Riverview on Friday the 17th. I’m almost a week late in updates. But I will catch up. I will. If you’re reading this now, it means I am still currently trying to progress on writing Day Forty-Eight and Forty-Nine.

I apologize for the lack of updates this weekend. A lot has happened and it’s been very busy. I am happy to be able to write about Jenny again.

As Day Forty-Six ends, Jenny is beginning to follow normal conversations a bit more. She continues to respond in broken thoughts but you are at least able to have short conversations. Her memory of certain events within the last decade are coming back with varied accuracy. Physiotherapy came in once more to assess Jenny. Doctor [Redacted] who heads the Physiotherapy team assigned to Jenny at Health Sciences Center also runs an entire department at Riverview Health Center and she has determined that Jenny is ready to begin rehabilitation. Doctor [Redacted] had one last room available at her rehabilitation unit and had already reserved it for Jenny some time prior. The moment Doctor [Redacted] gave the green light for transfer, everything picked up triple speed and it was a whirlwind of many moving parts operating at once. Jenny was immediately brought down for an X-Ray and they determined her arm fractures are healing properly which was the final pre-requisite before being transferred. The H.S.C. floor team coordinated a transport operation immediately and I was told to begin packing all her things. I felt lucky to have randomly brought an extra duffle bag today in addition to my backpack as Jenny’s belongings in the room had accumulated quite a bit over her stay here.

As I began packing her belongings the news that Jenny was suddenly being transferred traveled the hospital wing. Over the next few hours many of the nurses and health care aides dropped by to say their goodbyes to the now sleeping Jenny and a few to me as well. Surprisingly, a couple of people from other floors visited as they were once assigned to her and they told me Jenny was one of their most adored patients in recent memory. I was present for all of her infamous escapades which earned Jenny her moniker “The Trouble-Maker”. At last I could confirm it was a title bestowed to Jenny in an affectionate way. As more people from different floors and wings came to visit and say goodbye to Jenny that truly was not something I expected. After some thought, I surmised that it could be due to the fact that Jenny was a health care employee herself for many years. Even with her brain in a severely damaged state it had not forgotten the respect, the admiration and the comradery she shared over years with her fellow health care workers. Mixed with her naturally selfless and caring nature she must have tried her best to be as courteous as possible while being a patient. It truly meant a lot to see how many people visited her on such short notice after she was approved for the transfer.

I was told if the transport team did not arrive by 9:00pm they would delay until the next morning. Once I packed up all her things I anxiously waited as each minute went by. Once 9:01pm passed I actually felt a sense of relief as Jenny was already asleep and that’s when the brain does all of it’s repairing so I always try to avoid having her sleep disturbed in any way. I started unpacking my things but at 9:05pm I heard some unfamiliar noises outside her door and as I got up to check what it was, the door swung open and I saw her nurse and two people dressed in high-visibility vests with a stretcher. Jenny is still being transported tonight.

Today when I walked to H.S.C. I expected a routine day but in the span of just one evening, Jenny has officially left Health Sciences Center and is now taking a huge step forward on her journey to recovery as she has been accepted into the rehabilitation program at her new home, Riverview.

I am prohibited to write any names of those I’ve had the pleasure and honor of meeting during Jenny’s time at Health Sciences Center but I kept note of 32 health care aides and 22 nurses that were ever assigned to Jenny. I hope that one day in the future when we come back to visit as normal civilians she will have a chance to thank each of you properly. I hope you will remember her then because I will always remember all of you.

Goodbye Health Sciences Center, thank you for everything.

---

As Day Forty-Seven ends, Jenny wraps up her first day at her new home in Riverview Health Center. She has been assigned her own room in the last part of a unit and this will remain her room until she is discharged. This will be the longest trek in her journey to recovery by an exponentially large margin but it is also the final step. Her main focus at rehab revolves around three different areas: Physiotherapy, Occupational Therapy and Speech & Language Pathology. No matter how long it takes, once Jenny shows she is ready both mentally and physically she will be able to resume her life and her work. Whatever changes occur before that day will only be known in time, but I will be there to keep track every step of the way.

As Jenny was brought late in the night, her first full day occurs on Friday, November 17 which means Jenny only had one day before the weekend. She only had time to meet and greet the entire collaborative rehab team but no actual therapy work was involved today. It will all begin the following Monday. A key difference at this facility is that the handful of people assigned to Jenny will be the same people assigned to her until the day she is discharged. They will be with her every step of the way on her journey to recovery.

Throughout her first day, Jenny noticeably did not enjoy her time here and kept on requesting to go home. Though I tried to reassure and explain over and over again the purpose as to why she was transferred and why she was here she would not budge and kept requesting to go home.

At least Jenny was able to do something she could not over the past 47 days and that is being able to have a full shower and not just a pseudo-shower. Since she cannot stand up on her own, let alone walk, she must use a special made wheelchair to shower. As her assigned health care aides attempted to help shower her they had an increasingly difficult time as Jenny ended up not wanting their assistance and eventually kicked them out and began trying to shower herself. She is not even close to being able to shower on her own yet and as I was waiting outside the shower area during all this commotion I knew when all options were exhausted it was my time to step up. And so, I told them I was fine doing this for her and I was given a full body cover and special slip-ons for my feet and off I went.

I will never be able to properly convey the experience in emotions I felt during this. Though I was more than happy to help, knowing Jenny was going to have her first full shower in over 47 days was the only happy moment I felt. I will not go into much detail because I don’t think I could muster myself to but I can go through the beginning.

Imagine your loved one in life – the one you share everything with.

Now imagine them sitting in front of you.

But they are strapped into a wheelchair.

Their head is hunched to it’s side.

They are staring silently towards the ground.

Their body is lifeless and leaning into the straps.

They are too weak to hold their own body up.

Their hair is damaged and frayed from weeks of minimal care.

Just a few weeks ago your loved one was in the prime of their life.

Now you have to wash their body for them because they cannot do so themselves anymore.

This was reality today and it’s a painful memory I must cherish for the rest of my life.

As Day Forty-Five ends, I learned that even though Jenny is able to eat normally (under full supervision) she must still use the direct stomach feeding tube overnight as she cannot consume enough calories for maintenance. She has lost weight and they are using the tube feed to bring her back to a healthier level.

Jenny is talking a little more now and is able to hold basic conversations but is still mixing up many memories. Tonight she thought my name was Peter and once again when I told her that was not my name she laughed saying she cannot believe I don’t even know my own name. She also used the phrase “You’re dumb dumb.” multiple times which I found adorable.

I’d like to talk about a discovery I learned from Day Forty-One when Jenny insisted my name was “Suki” seemingly out of nowhere. I was informed that the term “Suki” is actually a well-known and frequently used term in the Filipino culture. If you work at a business or shop of any sort, “Suki” refers to a very loyal customer to your business. It’s a term for the partnership of a customer that consistently returns to buy more products or services from your business because they trust the quality or have built a relationship with you over time.

I believe somewhere in Jenny’s mind she was connecting me to a loyal customer of sorts. This meant that even though Jenny cannot consistently remember my name, she is aware that I am a frequent “customer”. The moment I was informed of this I felt the same sensation from all the way back to Day Twenty-Three when I had finally pieced together what Jenny was trying to say to me that week as she kept repeating “Make it ten”, “Make it nine” or “Make it seven”. Even though her memory cannot remember my name everyday, her memory does acknowledge at least seeing me everyday. I am not ashamed to say once I found out what “Suki” actually meant, tears began streaming down my face once more. This new knowledge gave further vindication for my endeavors in being there for her everyday.

Lastly, today was the first day I got to have a meal with Jenny since the accident as yesterday she was upgraded to a Standard Texture Diet from the Speech & Language Pathologist team. It has been over 1 ½ months since we last ate something together. Of course there was joy to be had but it came at a very heavy cost. Since Jenny does not have enough dexterity to control the utensils herself she can only eat under full supervision meaning I still have to feed her. But if I feed her that means during that time I am not able to eat myself. Jenny was constantly worrying about me not being able to eat and along with not enjoying that specific hospital dish she kept telling me to stop feeding her and to eat my own food instead. It was an unexpectedly difficult ordeal and Jenny seemed to not have a good time. In fact, she never smiled even once through the whole meal and was noticeably sullen. It was a bleak milestone because the moment I started feeding her it hit me that I was feeding her. None of this should be happening in the first place and I was quickly brought back to reality because I was harshly reminded how desperate and burdened this entire situation is. At one point she even pushed the tray away and said

“You eat first I don’t want you to feed me until you finish eating.”

But that is the farthest thing away from enjoying a meal together. I cannot eat while feeding her and she cannot eat if I am eating. This moment was just another eye-opening experience in how truly difficult ordinary things can be with recovery and how we often unknowingly take for granted what is considered routine in life. I was originally so happy to finally be able to have a meal with Jenny and yet, even with food in front of both of us, it feels as if enjoying a meal together is still so far away.

As Day Forty-Four ends, I spoke to one of the senior executives of the entire Health Sciences Center. They said that one or more staff of the H.S.C. felt discomfort that their name was written on these updates and for privacy reasons I am prohibited to write the names of any Health Sciences Center staff. After some thought I quickly realized I have made a terrible mistake and my actions are 100% wrong. I was consciously writing only first names and thought it was acceptable but that only proves how immature I am in the grand scheme of life. I want to sincerely apologize to all staff from Health Sciences Center for invading your privacy and I hope for any ounce of forgiveness. I am 100% wrong in my actions and just knowing I was a reason for anxiety or discomfort for the very people that tirelessly work towards helping Jenny recover makes me feel like a criminal and I am beyond remorseful. This is the first time I have written in the public domain but that does not excuse my actions. As an adult I should have known better from the beginning and I feel ashamed for not being mindful enough. Once again I sincerely apologize to all staff of the Health Sciences Center for my lack of competence and though I have learned my lesson it does not come close to making amends. I will now refer to any hospital staff from their titles only.

Today, Jenny worked with the Physiotherapy team and they told me she is making notable progress and there was so much progress that they are going to visit again tomorrow to determine if she is ready to advance to the next step of rehabilitation.

Jenny was trying to remember her home address this evening. She mixed up her work address as her home address and insisted she lived where she worked. Throughout the rest of evening she kept trying to escape her hospital bed saying she needs to go back to work. I had to keep careful watch to prevent her from injuring herself while I assured her over and over again that her only job right now is to focus on recovery.

Lastly, the Speech & Language Pathologist team visited and after testing they promoted Jenny past the clear liquids only stage. They even advanced her above the thick liquids stage and instead upgraded Jenny to a “Standard Texture Diet” meaning Jenny can eat normal food under careful supervision. This means tomorrow will be the first time I can have a meal together with Jenny since the accident.

As Day Forty-Three ends, Jenny’s vitals are ok minus her blood pressure being quite a bit low which has been a reoccurring issue. I was told she cried overnight. She was saying something about pain and not wanting to celebrate her birthday. The staff didn’t know how to stop her from crying until the nurse agreed that they wouldn’t celebrate her birthday anymore and that alone stopped it. She has been tolerating her clear liquid diet and enjoys the Jell-O in particular but is still eating much less than expected so the direct stomach tube feed is still running in full force.

Lastly, when I arrived today I noticed Jenny’s cozy mitt was taped on. This is extremely unusual because the cozy mitt has a built-in velcro to fasten itself. As I examined this further, whoever taped on this cozy mitt had taped directly onto Jenny’s skin and even worse, did not use the available cloth tape but instead chose to use the extremely sticky clear tape. Furthermore, they somehow thought it was ok to tape over her recovering post-op sutures. And amazingly that’s still not all, they had taped it so tightly that it also cut off proper circulation to her only working arm. This was extremely wrong on every level. Removing this tape caused Jenny an immense amount of pain because the tape was done overnight and it had melded into her skin from going unnoticed the entire day until I arrived. The assigned staff last night must have not known how to properly put on the cozy mitt and instead of asking how they instead picked out same random tape and taped it on. They chose the worst tape available and they even taped excessively tight over her recovering sutures. I am not angry, well I am but this anger pales in comparison to the animosity I felt from Day Thirty-Nine. I am mostly disappointed because I had to assist in removing the tape which put me in a position where I was involuntarily causing Jenny unnecessary pain from someone else’s mistake.   

As Day Forty-Two ends, I was told Jenny was quite restless throughout last night and only slept in small spurts. She often tries to climb out of bed but is not able to support herself at all so the overnight staff have to constantly watch her to avoid involuntary falls. I gathered a little more information about the excruciating pain Jenny felt over Day Thirty-Nine. On that day I remember Jenny saying it was specifically her back that was in severe pain. Due to the accident Jenny suffered many fractures along her spine and pelvic area which in conjunction with being bedridden for over a month may have been the primary cause.

Today, Jenny got to sit on a neurochair for the first time. The neurochair is a modern device that was specifically designed to help those who suffered neurological trauma to be able to sit normally. It assists people with conditions which range from those who cannot support themselves to those who suffer with involuntary movements and Jenny falls under both categories. I was not present when Jenny sat in this neurochair but I was told she got tired very quickly. The staff will try to get her to sit on the chair more often as time goes on as it is a preliminary step towards her journey into physiotherapy and rehabilitation.

As Day Forty-One ends, Jenny was talkative throughout the evening similar to yesterday. For the first time when I asked if Jenny could remember my name she said yes but stated the incorrect name. She said my name was Suki. As I tried to convince her my name was not Suki she would not budge. I tried to help her remember by giving hints such as saying the letters S was correct but eventually she laughed and said

“Oh my, you really don’t know your own name is Suki?”

and so, she insisted my name was Suki for the rest of the night.

Today was also the first time for something else – Jenny asked me if I could help her sit up. I was more than happy to oblige. I managed to assist her into a seated position with her legs over the side of the bed while I kept support on her back and neck but the process was quite a struggle. She then said she wanted to use the toilet on her own which she’s never done before and I was not sure how proceed so I hit the call button to ask the nurse for advice. Instead of allowing her on the toilet they brought in what’s called a “commode” which is a special made chair and portable toilet. At this point it’s no longer something I could help with and I was asked to step back to allow the staff to perform the next part without me.

I was so happy when Jenny asked me to help her sit up for the first time but that happiness came to a jarring halt. As I watched the staff assist her I could witness in detail how much of a struggle it was for Jenny to simply move from the side of the bed to the commode that was only a few inches away. Once they got her on her feet she nearly crumpled to the ground as if there was zero power in her legs and they essentially had to drag her entire body to the chair. Her resolve is there but it starkly reminded me that Jenny still has a very long journey ahead of her.