As Day Thirty ends, it was a short but very painful day for Jenny and I. To begin, over these past few weeks I’ve earned the trust of the hospital ward to watch over Jenny when I am beside her so whenever I show up the assigned health care aides know they can leave Jenny unattended and do other tasks. Before I arrived today I went to a restaurant nearby to eat lunch. After I arrived, my stomach started feeling upset but I ignored it. I first noticed Jenny was very restless and continues to lie horizontally in bed. I lower the bottom railing of the hospital bed and sit beside her. I then see her grab the upper railing and try to pull herself up over and over again but the cozy mitt is on her only operative arm so she cannot grip the railing enough to pull herself far. Over the next few minutes, I begin feeling very nauseous and begin to dry heave. I left the hospital bed to grab the chair in the corner to sit down properly. As I continued to dry heave, more and more saliva seeps out so I grab the small garbage bin and place it in front of me fully expecting the worst to come out. My body is in a lot of pain and I push the chair to the back wall so I can rest my head against it. My eyes close as I focus and tell my body to ignore the pain. It is a very tough few minutes and with my eyes closed I fully focus to avoid throwing up in the hospital. To me, throwing up is the worst case scenario right now. Well, I thought it was until all of a sudden I hear an unfamiliar sound… like a sliding noise. Sort of like *shwoop*. My eyes can barely open right now due to the pain but when I open them… I see Jenny lying on the floor. Jenny lying on the floor. All of a sudden Jenny who was just on the bed a moment ago is now lying on the floor and she is moaning in pain while struggling helplessly. I go absolute full on panic mode. I quickly realize I am all alone in the room and Jenny is lying on the floor. I immediately go to her and support her head. Did she bang her head? What happened? I search for the call button. I cannot find it. The button is not in it’s usual spot. Why isn’t it in it’s usual spot? It’s always hanging off the side of the bed and it has been there every single day I’ve been here except today. Surely it’s still there and I just can’t find it so I continue to search for it while trying to support Jenny. It’s just not here, I cannot find it. There really is no call button. Jenny has fallen onto the floor and I am really alone in the room. I do not know what to do. Jenny is moaning in pain. I have no choice, I have to leave Jenny to call for help. I apologize to her profusely and say I have to be right back and run right into the hallway and the first person I see I yell that Jenny fell off the bed onto the floor. In less than a minute 7 different people are in the room checking Jenny, her vitals and her head while figuring out how to lift her back onto the bed. I mentioned I couldn’t find the call button, and the reason is because someone put the call button in the wrong place against the corner wall and not in it’s normal spot beside the bed. The one day it’s not in the proper spot and it’s the one day I needed it the most. I am hunched over because of the intense physical pain from the upset stomach but the mental pain is even worse. I discover the only reason Jenny was able to slide off the bed was because I lowered the bottom railing and forgot to put it back up before I sat down in the chair. I do not know exactly how Jenny fell after she slid off the bed. I do not know if she banged her head on the floor, or worse, the sharp metal corner of the IV stand. I do not know if she rolled on the floor first then banged her head afterwards. I was the only one there when she fell on the floor and I don’t even know what happened. The only thing I do know is that I now lost the trust of this hospital wing and I also lost the trust in myself. I failed Jenny today. I feel miserable and due to the physical pain I’m in, I am forced to leave early and go home. I have no actual updates on Jenny today. All I know is that she is worse today because I came to visit. I hurt her today due my irresponsibility. I am so very extremely disappointed in myself. I am so, so sorry Jenny. Please tell me I did not cause any further brain damage. If I did, I will never forgive myself.